Another Funny DBZ FanFic
by Adam the Goth
Summary: Well Cell is alive and well and Gohan goes for a new image..enjoy!
1. Pig Shaped Machines and an Army of Friez...

Another Funny DBZ FanFic.  
  
  
  
Adam: Ello....after reading (insert rediculous number here) fanfics I FINALLY decided I needed to write my own. Just a tiny heads up, I don't own shit. I don't own Goku or Vegeta or anyother DBZ character or anything else unless I say other wise. If you think I DO own anything....congradulations you have the intelligence of mayonaise....  
  
Mayonaise: HEY!  
  
Adam: Sorry....  
  
Mayonaise: Condaments have feelings too!  
  
Adam: Okay, okay. I'm sorry.....While I try to calm the mayonaise down...enjoy the fic.  
  
  
  
It was a peacful sunny day on Earth. For once no one was trying to blow anything up, kidnap their brother's children, absorb half the city in search of perfection, or devour and destroy the entire Earth's population.  
  
Goten was walking in from outside. Everyone was gathered at the Capsule Corp. for the day. Bulma had made some big plan which just caused Vegeta to cross his arms and go about muttering something about a damn woman.  
  
That was until he got into a disagreement with Goku, which Goten had stepped right into upon walking inside.  
  
"I'm telling you Kakarot, Frieza was a woman!"  
  
Goku shook his head. Though he had to admit Frieza did SOUND like a woman."Well...Frieza was a guy...he umm..he..." Goku trailed off not find anything to defend his side of the argument.  
  
"Why don't you two settle it with over a game, like me and Trunks?" Goten chirped in.  
  
"Why not...any chance to show Kakarot I am better at him in another category is to good to pass up."  
  
"Bring it on, Vegeta.", Goku challenged the would-be prince.  
  
Goten called Trunks over and between the two of them they managed to teach Goku how to play drum roll Super Smash Brothers.  
  
Vegeta wasn't as easy to teach. He crushed the first controller on accident and started to beat Goku about the head with the second one when Trunks told his dad that he had to defeat Goku in battle.  
  
Goku, for reasons unknown, choose Jigglypuff. Vegeta, deciding the only normal looking fighter was Capt. Falcon, he choose him.  
  
two hours later  
  
"HA! That's the fiftieth time I've beaten you Vegeta"  
  
"It is only a game Kakarot..."  
  
"Yeah....but I'm still winning!"  
  
Vegeta had to admit video games wern't his thing. He glared at the stupid pink ball thing that was beating the hell out of his beloved Captain.  
  
"I swear...if I ever see a giant pink blob like that...I will destroy it with my bare hands!"  
  
  
  
Bulma had , in the mean time, been preparing her surprise. A new invention. Bulma had made a device that made dragon balls. She thought it worked fine, but one day, Trunks had thought it'd be clever to turn a few numbers around.  
  
"VEGETA, GOKU, EVERYONE!" called Bulma.  
  
"Damn woman...", Vegeta of course.  
  
The entire crowd gathered in the lab where a funny looking machine that looked like a chrome piggy bank sat on the floor. Everyone watched as Bulma flipped a few switches and the machine spat out a cloud. But instead of dragon balls, the machine had spat out The Ginyu Force, Frieza, and Cell. Bulma gasped when she saw seven bad guys as opposed to seven Dragon Balls.  
  
Vegeta reacted as par-usual by blasting the Ginyu Force into oblivion. Cell quietly slinked out and Freiza was tackled by Goku who began inspecting Frieza's crotch.  
  
"I'll settle this once and for all!" cried Goku.  
  
"Kakarot..that..is....very unsettleing..." stuttered Vegeta.  
  
Frieza cried out, "YOU DAMN SAIYAN, GET AWAY FROM MY CROTCH!" The space tyrant's voice was almost too much to bear.  
  
Finall Goku spoke up. "He..She....IT!" Vegeta glared at Goku...then at Frieza. Vegeta blasted Frieza away as well."Who cares about...that anyway, Kakarot."  
  
Goku shrugged and got up, Frieza's ashes under where he was lieing. He swept the ashes off of his shirt and looked at Bulma for an explination. As Bulma was barraged with a ton of questions, Trunks slinked off outside before he was susspected of tampering with the machine.  
  
At the same time Cell was looking for an escape of his own. While turning a corner, Trunks ran into Cell. Neither recognized the other, the younger Trunks not knowing who Cell is and Cell not recognizing Trunks as a small child.  
  
"Who are you?" Trunks questioned.  
  
Cell responded harshly. "I should ask the same...you little brat."  
  
"BRAT?"  
  
Cell looked at Trunks ad sighed. "Yeah..brat.."  
  
"At least I'm not a cricket freak!"  
  
"Flower hair!"  
  
"Albino face!"  
  
"Midget!"  
  
Trunks had run out of comebacks, so he kicked Cell in the shin, which accidently, took one of Cell's legs off. Luckily for him, it regenerated.  
  
Mean while back at Capsule Corp. Vegeta was having fun with his new "Victim Generater", as he called it. He flipped a switch and a new Frieza would pop out and Vegeta would obliterate it.  
  
Vegeta yelled out "YES...SO MUCH FUN!!!!"  
  
A new Frieza popped out "Now...to destroy Ear-" KABOOM! Bulma kept trying to scold Vegeta for scattering Frieza parts everywhere. Goku was still looking for his "evidence".  
  
Cell and Trunks kept fighting with eachother. Name calling escalted to a full blown fight, which was sorta fairly matched.  
  
Will Trunks beat Cell? Will Bulma fix her invention...better yet will she stop Vegeta from destroying Capsule Corp. Will Goku ever find out what sex Frieza is? Find out next time. Different time same place. So long ^_^ 


	2. Gohans Idea and Cell's Plot

The Sequel to Yet Another Funny DBZ Story.  
  
Adam: Announcer type voice Last time..uhh..on this story....Vegeta was blasting an army of Friezas, Goku was on the trail of Frieza's sexuality, and Trunks and Cell were dukeing it out....OH! And Mayonnaise got over his emotional problems!  
  
Mayonnaise: sporting a rocket launcher Hold still fat boy!  
  
Adam: ACK! Oh, before I run like a coward into the mountains, I don't own Goku, Vegeta, any other DBZ stuff or the FFX stuff I'm sticking in here...now...deep breath RUN AWAY!!!  
  
Cell was looking for a way to win this little fight with Trunks...he thought..and thought....and thought some more until finally...  
  
"That's it...I'll absorb you!" cried Cell. Trunks sort of shrugged and went super.  
  
Cell rushed forward and tried absorbing Trunks....AND HE DID. But, before he could call out his victory, a startling change occurred. Cell morphed into a short lavender version of a Cell Jr. with silly looking green hair.  
  
Meanwhile Gohan was at school, learning oh so many things. But, something was bothering him...he didn't really fit in with any one group. He wasn't a big nerd. If he tried to be a jock he would be found out eventually as the gold fighter, but then Gohan relised...GOTH. That was the answer. Go gothic. Gohan rushed off before his next class to get what he needed. He got back with moments to spare. A quick trip to the bathroom produced the worst embarrassment to all of Goth AND Saiyan kind. Gohan had made his hair even MORE spiky, covered his face in white make-up, had insert ridiculous number number 2 here chains and bracelets on, was dressed head to toe in black, and had enough piercings to hang a shower curtain off on.  
  
But of course Gohan lacked one thing. An attitude. Gohan walked his bad Gothic self up to the table where those three weirdoes usually sat. That chick with the huge breasts, the vampire guy, and some kid who follows them both.  
  
Gohan started," Hey, mind if I sit here. If you don't mi-," but, he was cut short by the big breasted one, who was known as Lulu.  
  
She said to the poor boy, "Just..no...go..go home...go to sleep...come back normal..."  
  
The vampire guy just nodded while the drooling boy tried for the ridiculous number three, I choose you! time to look down Lulu's dress.  
  
A dismayed Gohan went to the bathroom and emerged his regular old self.  
  
Meanwhile at Capsule Corp. Vegeta was STILL blowing Friezas up...over...and over....AND OVER....etc.  
  
Vegeta was just beginning to tire of this game when all of a sudden Cell flew in and went up to Bulma, and begged, in an odd fusion of Trunks and Cell's voice, for Bulma to help separate him and Trunks.  
  
Bulma thought about this for a moment. She then immediately got to work on a new invention. Cell/Trunks just waited. Vegeta calmly kept telling himself not to blow up the queer looking version of Cell because Trunks was in there too. (AN: I am using queer to mean weird or abnormal, not homosexual or gay. ^_^)  
  
Bulma walked over with a new device. This one looked like a little pogo- stick/gun combination. Bulma aimed the device at Cell/Trunks and fired. A strange red light engulfed Cell/Trunks and when it all cleared, the two were separated.  
  
Not three seconds later, Vegeta was pounding the living crap out of Cell.  
  
"You punch stupid green mother CENCORED I'm gonna punch, kick rip your tail off and grab, tear, tear strangle you with it!"  
  
Vegeta was none to happy with Cell, remembering how he struck him and his future son down so easily.  
  
"Would it ,ow, help if ,aghh, if I said I was , agghh my tail, sorry ?" cried Cell.  
  
"Hmm....NO!"  
  
"Crud."  
  
Vegeta continued pounding Cell long into the night, even after Cell lost consciousness.  
  
Meanwhile Goku had dug out of the junk drawer a magnifying glass, a trench coat, and a notepad. He was going the whole nine yards to try and determine if Frieza was a man or a woman. He carefully studied each piece of Frieza that Vegeta had scattered across the room where Bulma's machine was. Unfortunately, Vegeta hadn't left much to be studied.  
  
A twitching to the side caught Goku's attention. A part of one of the Frieza's was still alive. It was the upper torso, head, and one arm. It reached out in search of help towards Goku.  
  
Goku reached forward and pouted.  
  
"You don't have the parts I'm looking for," he said. He then fired an energy attack at the twitching remains and vaporized them. Frieza's cry of pain almost caused any one in a three mile radius to suddenly bleed from the ears.  
  
Time marches on.....  
  
Gohan walked into Capsule Corp. He almost forgot he had to go there instead of his own house because he was so upset about what had happened earlier.  
  
"Why me....?" He questioned himself.  
  
Just as Gohan began contemplating weather his problems here were of his creation or the machinations of a higher power, three Friezas from Bulma's machine flew by followed by Goku.  
  
Goku screamed after the fleeing Friezas, "All i need to do is take a good look!!!"  
  
Gohan shuddered and didn't even wanna know.  
  
Cell had managed to escape, hanging on to his life by a hangnail. He shuddered as his body slowly regenerated. As he regenerated, he began plotting his revenge...not on Goku or even Gohan...no..on Vegeta and Trunks. All of a sudden Goten walked up to Cell.  
  
"Hey, you okay mister ?" Goten asked innocently.  
  
"Yes....who are you ?" Cell recognized some of Goku's features in the boy and then grinned figuring this must be his second son.  
  
"I'm Goten!" said Goten proudly.  
  
"Then you must know Vegeta and Trunks....."  
  
"Yeah...I do..why ?"  
  
"Oh you'll see...you'll see !"  
  
  
  
  
  
Gasp! What could the evil Cell be plotting now. And what of Goku and the Friezas??? And what about Gohan ? Will he ever fit in...(not bloody likely...) All this and more in chapter 3....coming soon....I hope....cough cough.... 


End file.
